Carla Kincaid-Yoshikawa

"Handling Stress & Stress Management"

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We Are Not the Elders of Our Childhood
October 18, 2010 by Carla Kincaid-Yoshikawa
In memories from my childhood, my grandparents and their contemporaries are “old” people. I have reconsidered that designation in recent years: After all, I am actually older now than many of these elders -of-my-memory were then. Yet I still remember them as old. I’ve asked myself, “Why did they seem so old? Was it their hair color? Was it their wrinkles? Was it other, more subtle changes that occur as people age?” Perhaps to a small extent, but I think my picture of them as “old” is based more on the way they lived than on the way they looked.
Most of the “elders” I knew had withdrawn from life. They moved slowly and spent a lot of time sitting around, talking mostly with each other—often about their aches, pains and general tiredness—and watching the world from porches and windows. I wonder: How often was their withdrawal from active life due to real health limitations? How often was it forced on them by the assumptions of the society around them that this was the way you lived as you got “older,” and how often was it their own belief that this was how they “should be,” now that they had become “a certain age.” How much of their tiredness was a symptom of depression that came from being channeled into such a peripheral role? All of which leads me to wonder how much their withdrawal from life contributed to their “oldness” and decline.
I know from my own experience that the less I do, the more tired I feel. I know that regular exercise will increase my stamina, resilience and exuberance for life. From research conducted during the past few decades, we all know much more about the ways a healthy diet and regular exercise positively affect our physiology and psychology. And recent research on the brain is offering new insights into ways certain foods, practices and activities can help keep our brains (and our minds) active, alert and healthy.
We may have to struggle against the same preconceptions and prejudices about age that our grandparents and parents have faced—there are still people in our youth-centered culture who believe “old” people should sit on the sidelines. But our lives have been filled with struggles against preconceptions and prejudices of all kinds—struggles that have been hard-fought and largely won. Now, with the wisdom of age and greater knowledge of aging, we have yet another opportunity to break a mold that will not fit, this time to establish a new delineation for what it means to be “old” here:  actively engaged and wise contributors to our world.
We baby boomers have been a most fortunate generation. Born in a time of widespread prosperity with rapid expansions of knowledge during our lifetimes, not only will we live long lives in greater numbers than ever before, but we have the knowledge to make our later years productive, meaningful and joyous in ways no generation before us has. Let us use this knowledge, and the wisdom that age and experience have given us, to make the most of our good fortune.
Categories: Older Worker, Career Management & Transition
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Comments:


02/02/2011

Good article. Good point: even though learning social media can be difficult as we get older, it can enable us to stay in contact with people of all ages, even as our physical mobility decreases. As long as our minds remain functional, we can hold down jobs if we can work from home via the Internet.

I personally was planning on slipping into a comfortable retirement, and becoming one of the *elders* you talk about. The Great Recession has revised my plans: I now have no choice but to be adaptable, learn new skills, connect with new people, and try to earn a living far into my *senior* years.

A blessing in disguise?

James
10/18/2010

When did " elders" change from someone considered a mentor, sage, and wise person to someone who is washed up and useless? I recall learning to respect my elders and to go to them as the font of wisdom and advice. But now, anyone with the " elder" label is someone to be avoided and shunned. When did that change? I must have missed the memo.

Bob
10/18/2010

Great writing. You have summed up how I feel all the time. I am not old, yet in far too many cases, society deems me as old. Thanks for this.

Abe

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