Marilyn Degodny Winters

"Health Forced Retirement"

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Life Lessons Learned in Retirement
September 05, 2010 by Marilyn Degodny Winters
My husband is a stubborn man. I always knew how disciplined he was, but once you are at home with someone every day, you really see a person’s true colors. The reason I am bringing this up is due to a recent home improvement project that has been put off for the last two years. We have needed to paint the outside of our home. Now that we are both retired and living on a fixed income my husband, Randy, believes that he must do the jobs that once required hiring experienced workers. At age 62 and having been a widow once in my life already, I am grateful to have a living spouse. I want to keep him that way. So sometimes we have a conflict over major issues such as painting the house.


Shouldn’t he retire from house painting, too?

While this may seem meaningless, it is equally important to both of us. He is looking to save money and do the labor himself. I don’t want him to hurt himself. He thinks he can do almost anything around the house. I know better! I am sure that we are not the only retired couple facing this problem. Just a short time ago it would not even be a discussion because two people working full-time rarely have time to paint their own home so they do the sane thing and hire painters.


He started the project in 85 degree heat.

I have lost this argument. This morning, in 85-degree heat, Randy went outside to prepare the house. He worked all morning until I thought he would drop from exhaustion. All I could do was assist as directed and supply copious amounts of water.


Do retirees have to trade safety for money?

So what is the right thing to do? Do we as new retirees have to learn some hard life lessons about making appropriate choices? Should money always be the deciding factor? I better prepare myself for more of these discussions and hope my husband won’t always be so stubborn. I value Randy as a partner and want to have him around for a long time.
Categories: Retirement, Career Management & Transition
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Comments:


09/06/2010

Let the poor guy do what he thinks he's capable of. People need to feel useful. After years of working, a guy (or gal) needs to fill the void left by not having a job with something else that looks and feels like work. If he feels he can do the job, then he should. What do you want? To put him in a fish bowl where nothing bad can happen to him till he dies?

On the other hand, maybe you should work on other ways to fill the retirement hours for both of you so he has a full plate without painting the house. Travel (even local day trips)? Volunteeer? Help out at your local school, church, synagoge, mosque, homeless shcelter, animmal shelter or rescue, etc.? Turn a craft hobby into a freelance business? Mentor an underprivledged kid? Coach a little league or kids soccer team? If he likes to build, Habitate for humanity always needs help? There are plenty of things to look at.

If the battle plan is for him to sit in the recliner and read the paper till it's time to watch TV, then don't be surprised if he finds other things to do which may not fit with your notion of what is appropriate.

Chad

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