Vacation has Ended

It’s official. The “vacation” has ended. This Monday morning I woke up feeling restless and agitated. The house no longer felt like my refuge. I needed to go out into the world and reconnect with people. Not just any people, my people. Don’t get me wrong, its not like I’ve been a hermit. But today I felt the need to talk to my former coworkers and find out how things were going at my old place of employment.

I Miss Getting Ready For Work

What started this craziness was the simple task of getting dressed. I walked into my closet and saw my uniforms lined up neatly just like always. I had a weird feeling. I really missed getting ready for work, putting on my uniform, heavy duty sneakers and make-up. I felt sad putting on a tee shirt and shorts. Until today I felt like I was on a vacation (albeit a long one) that would come to an end and I would have to be back at my desk. Now I know that is not going to happen. Today I feel the need to talk shop, in my case, medicine. I want to know how the patients are doing. I need to know how the staff is getting along. Is my young replacement doing my job properly? I need information!  

I Miss Having a Career

I now believe the honeymoon period for being unemployed is about  five weeks. The first four weeks you are on a, “I don’t have to go to work today” high, but by week five, reality hits.  Giving up a job I loved because I physically could not handle the demands any longer does not make leaving any easier.  I must now acknowledge that I miss working, maybe even more than I believed I would.  It’s not just the patient contact, the camaraderie with the staff or the continual education I received from working with brilliant doctors.  I miss the structure and the discipline of completing tasks in a timely manner. I miss the adrenaline rush. I miss getting satisfaction from helping others.  Call me crazy, but I think I actually miss the commute.

Leaving my job has left a big hole in what once made up an integral part of my sense of self worth. Being a glass half–full kind of person, I know that with time that hole will be filled with a lot of other wonderful things.  But perhaps today, an old rerun of Grey’s Anatomy will do the trick.

Categories: Retirement, Career Management & Transition, Work Life Balance, Things You Need to Know